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Saturday, September 25, 2010

Tattoos and Hair Raising Hair Lines

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I guess I can’t call you that any longer since you did something surprising/startling/new with your hair. While it’s obviously still very thin in places you’re cut off the bangs into a Daniel Mead.
Tattoos and Hair Raising Hair Lines
Eric Mabius (Daniel Mead – “Ugly Betty”) could eat crackers in my king sized bed any night of the week if I were free and single and younger.
I’ve heard speculation you’re had hair plugs or Hair Club For Men or some other artificial means of hair raising when the new do appeared. Not sure it’s not just your natural hairline. Looks better than those bangs. You know what they used to call bangs in the pre-Victorian era? Lunatic fringe.
Tempted to nickname you ‘Peanut’ Never noticed before how weird the shape of your head is.
Heard you attended the 2010 Ezra Open in my hometown of New Orleans. Good on you. My hometown needs all the help it can get. So how drunk did you get on Bourbon St?
And this week you’re flying out to Africa to help the UN Foundation. Another good on you. But… drink lots of bottled water and watch your step.  Take the prophylaxis drugs they give you and prepare for an unforgettable experience. I’m pretty sure the only large wrinkled-skin mammals you will see there will not be your retarded frau tard pack. And the elephants probably smell better too.
But what’s with the nibbled down to nothing fingernails? Nasty habit that will surely expose you to some nasty unknown germs on the African continent if you chomp and chew your nails there.
So now I’m done with the pushy advice and speculation that pops in my mind when I listen to what your tards are talking about. The biggest weirding me out thing your tards have been up to was that shitaeously ugly tattoo of Andy Skib some proud fantard got.
Tattoos and Hair Raising Hair Lines
I saw this much earlier in the week at several boards and today at Top Idol. It’s super-creepy looking. At first I didn’t know exactly what it reminded me of until I was channel surfing and saw a few seconds of one of those prison life specials on MSNBC. Some prisoner had one the same size and color as this freaky looking Andy. Except his was of some chick with big hooters and flames behind her head.
There’s nothing wrong with getting a tattoo per se but your tards take it way too far into the creepy and inappropriate territory. I’ve heard tales of your tour bus logo ending up on someone’s rubbery floppy dugs and The Mid West Kings logo on someone elses back along with loads of poorly executed song lyrics on various body parts.  Glad no one has tried to get your face on their back like one of Adam Lambert’s Sparkle Cows did (Hitler Lambert)
Tattoos and Hair Raising Hair Lines
I think the thing I find the most disturbing about these tattoos, other than the fact that most of these women are going to seriously regret tattooing the face of a fleeting crush permanently on their bodies as they age and sag, are the subjects. No, not Madam, let some Sparkle Cow put the Glittery Faking Alien on their heinies. It’s the fact that they are putting the face of a nice young kid like Andy, young enough to have emerged from most of their vaginas, on themselves. It’s just sick and wrong on so many levels.

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